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Ìîëîäîñòü — âðåìÿ, êîãäà òðóäíî ÷òî-ëèáî îáúÿñíèòü ÷åëîâå÷åñòâó. Âõîäèøü â àâòîñåðâèñ ñî ñëîìàííîé ìàøèíîé, âûõîäèøü áåç ëîìàíîãî ãðîøà. Æèâîòû - ÷òî ãîëóáè: ãäå õîòÿò, òàì è ñèäÿò. Êàê òîëüêî ÷åëîâåê äîæèâåò äî òàêèõ ëåò, êîãäà íàäî ïîíèìàòü, îí ïåðåñòàåò ïîíèìàòü ÷òî áû òî íè áûëî. Íå âñå íà âîëêà, èíî è ïî âîëêó. Áåç ïàëêè íåò ó÷åíüÿ. Íå äëÿ ñå÷åíüÿ - äëÿ ó÷åíüÿ. Óãîâîðåö - ðîäíîé áðàòåö âñåì äåëàì. Ó áîãàòîãî ìóæèêà - óðîäè áîã ñûíà äóðàêà (ïðîêîðìèò). Ñûí îòöîâñêîãî äåãòÿ íå çàâàêñèò (íà ñàïîãàõ). Êîøêà êëóáêîì - íà ìîðîç. Ëó÷øåå â íàñ îò ïðèðîäû, õóäøåå — îò îòñóòñòâèÿ ëó÷øåãî. Âîçìîæíî, ÷åëîâåêó ïîäðåçàþò êðûëüÿ, ÷òîáû ïðîäëèòü ìå÷òó î ïîëåòå? Ïîïîâî áðþõî èç ñåìè îâ÷èí ñøèòî. Ëáîì ñòåíó íå ïðîøèáåøü, åñëè îíà èç ëáîâ. Êàê-òî íàì áóäåò ïåðåä àíòèõðèñòîì-òî ñòîÿòü. <a href=&quot Ëóíà ïî 11 äîìó ãîðîñêîïà</a> Óêëîíèñÿ îò çëà, äà êóïè êîçëà! „Ìû áûëè ëþäüìè“ — ýòîò îòðûâîê èç Áîðèñà Ïàñòåðíàêà ñòîëüêî ëèö âûçûâàåò â ïàìÿòè, ê ñòîëüêèì âñòðå÷åííûì ëáàì ïðèëèïàåò! Îò ó÷òèâûõ (âåæëèâûõ) ñëîâ ÿçûê íå îòñîõíåò. Âñÿêîìó îëóõó ñâîå âðåìÿ. Ïðè âîéñêîâîé áóëàâå, äà ïðè ñâîé ãîëîâå. Ñàìîêîïàíèå îòíþäü íå êëàäîèñêàòåëüñòâî. Òî÷íî è åìêî âûðàæàòü ìûñëè íå åñòü íåäîñÿãàåìàÿ ïðåðîãàòèâà ìóäðåöîâ, ê ýòîìó äîëæåí ñòðåìèòüñÿ êàæäûé. Íåíàñòüå â âîñêðåñåíüå ïåðåä ìàñëåíîé ê óðîæàþ ãðèáîâ (ñèìáèðñê.). Âñÿêîå æèòåéñêîå îòëîæèì ïîïå÷åíèå! Îäíè âîðîòà, ÷òî íà äâîð, ÷òî ñî äâîðà. Äóìà, ÷òî áîðîäà: ëèøíÿÿ òÿãîòà. Ñìîëîäó îõîòîé, ïîä ñòàðîñòü ïåðõîòîé. ×òîáû æèòü, ðóêîâîäñòâóÿñü ìóäðîñòüþ, íàäî áûòü ìóäðûì. ×òîáû ñòàòü òàêîâûì, ÷åëîâåê äîëæåí äàòü ñåáå òðóä óêðåïèòü è âîçâûñèòü ñâîé ðàçóì, ñìèðèòü ñâîè ñòðàñòè, èçó÷èòü îïûò æèçíè äðóãèõ ìóäðåöîâ è èçáåãàòü òîãî, ÷òî ìîæåò âûâåñòè åãî èç ðàâíîâåñèÿ. Ó íåãî øóáêà äîì ñòåðåæåò (ò. å. ñòîðîæêîâàÿ, ñîáà÷üÿ). Êàê ñûòûé ïîðîñåíîê îò êîðûòà áåæèò (íå ñêàçàâ ñïàñèáî). Äåòè êðàäóò, à îòåö (à ìàòü) ïðÿ÷åò. Ïëå÷à ìîãó÷èå, øèðîêèå, ìîëîäåöêèå, áîãàòûðñêèå. Ó èíûõ íèìá — ýòî ñðîñøèåñÿ íàä ãîëîâîé ðîãà. ×åãî íå âèäÿò, òåì è íå áðåäÿò. Íå âèäèøü, òàê è íå âðåøü. Ëèáî ïîëêîâíèê, ëèáî ïîêîéíèê. Ìîë÷àëèâîñòü — ýòî êîãäà óì îãðàíè÷åí âûðàæåíèåì ëèöà. Ìóæ ñ æåíîé, ÷òî ìóêà ñ âîäîé (ñáîëòàòü ñáîëòàåøü, à ðàçáîëòàòü íå ðàçáîëòàåøü). Æèâîé æèâîå è äóìàåò (ãàäàåò, çàòåâàåò). Ñëó÷èëîñü íîñó ïîõâàëèòüñÿ, ÷òî ñïîäðó÷íî åìó ñ ìîðîçîì âîçèòüñÿ. Âñÿêèé ñïëÿøåò, äà íå êàê ñêîìîðîõ. Áàáóøêà, ÷òî òû ìíå îòêàæåøü? - Íå çíàþ, ðàçâå äîðîãó äî öåðêâè. Îäíîìó áîãó ìîëèòñÿ, à äðóãîìó êëàíÿåòñÿ. Ìóæ ïüåò - ïîëäîìà ãîðèò; æåíà ïüåò - âåñü äîì ãîðèò. Ñâîèõ íå ñòðàùàé: íàøè è òàê íå áîÿòñÿ. Ñòðóæêè îò ãðîáà íå æãóò, à ïóñêàþò íà âîäó (Òâåðñêàÿ ãóáåðíèÿ).

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Angeblich kostenpflichtige Arschbombentipps: Habe auf der privaten Seite von Satiriker Niko Iordanov gesehen, dass sich Spiegel-Online (Christoph Titz, Jochen Leffers) einen peinlichen Bericht erlaubt hat. Niko Iordanov berichtete, dass man bei ihm Tipps um das Arschbomben-Springen bekommen kann. Damit die Seite bekannt wird regt Niko Jordanov wie auch bei Gumpalm.com zum Schmunzeln an. Er schrieb kleingedruckt: Arschbombentipp 0900-18503 zu 129,- Euro pro Anruf. Es ist jedem aufgefallen, dass das ein Witz ist. Jedoch hat der Spiegel daraus eine Sensationsstory gebaut und stellt ihn nun lebenslang an den Pranger als Arschbomben-Bescheisser. Siehe Was kann sich der Spiegel bei dem Bericht nur gedacht haben? Weshalb hat der Spiegel nicht recherchiert, dass es Blocktarife zu 129,- Euro gar nicht gibt. Warum hat der Spiegel Herrn Iordanov nicht einfach gefragt und weshalb nimmt Spiegel-Online den Bericht nicht vom Netz obwohl alle im Verlag wissen, dass Christoph Titz und Jochen Leffers Mist gebaut haben? Schlechte Recherche. Der Presserat wurde auch schon eingeschaltet. Es ist nicht das erste Mal, dass der Spiegel Satire im Netz aufgreift und daraus eine Sensationsstory bastelt. Christoph Titz ist sicher nicht der einzige in der Branche dem scheinbar die Themen ausgehen und der sich dann so etwas einfallen lassen muss. Mittlerweile hat sich auch ein Journalisten-Checker dem Fall angenommen: Er berichtet sogar online bei Youtube! Ein weiteres Beispiel was f. ein Nachrichtenmagazin an Peinlichkeit nicht zu toppen ist: Hier berichtet der Spiegel auch und macht aus einer Satire-Webseite bitteren Ernst. Es geht hier darum, dass eine Handelsplattform f. Wahlstimmen aufgebaut werden soll. Eine lustige Seite namens Cashvote. Da gibt es das "Ecopaket" mit 1000 Zweitstimmen f. 6250 Euro. Wer die Partei seiner Wahl noch weiter nach vorn bringen will, kauft das "Powerpaket" mit 10.000 Zweitstimmen, das - die Menge machts - schon f. 59.900 Euro zu haben ist. Und Nachschub ist reichlich vorhanden, glaubt Cashvote-Betreiber -Fortschritt-, ein Kieler Unternehmen. Eine wirklich witzige Seite und was macht der Spiegel daraus? Zwar sind auch andere Zeitungen auf Cashvote reingefallen, aber die haben es wieder vom Netz genommen bzw. geschrieben, dass es Satire war. Der Spiegel jedoch plant diesen Bericht lebenslang unkorrigiert zu publizieren und kann sich dabei auf die Gerichte in Hamburg verlassen. Das ist schlicht gesagt die Macht des Konzerns. Auch bei den Niko Iordanovs Arschbombentipps mit einer nicht existenten 0900-Nummer hat Christoph Titz absichtlich seine Pflichten als Journalist ignoriert. Sehr peinlich. Der Spiegel war einst ein Nachrichtenmagazin mit Verlass. Jetzt ist der Spiegel auf Boulevardniveau herabgesunken. Was denkt Ihr? Euer Spiegelkritiker

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